Rochelle/Quotes

"I'm gonna teach your ass how to read." This article/section is typed directly as it is represented in-game and therefore may have spelling errors. Please do not correct spelling mistakes unless it is not as it appears in-game.

A list of Rochelle's Quotes heard so far in Left 4 Dead 2.

Intro

• [When seeing Mudmen in the Zombie Survival Guide Trailer]
  • "What the hell is that?"
• [In the Zombie Survival Guide Trailer, when the Spitter appears]
  • "This is some grim shit we got ourselves into..."
• [When fending off the Horde]
  • "Get back! Get back!"
• [When the military begins to bomb Veterans Memorial Bridge in Zombie Survival Guide trailer]
  • "Stop the bombing run!"
• [Talking to Ellis in Zombie Survival Guide trailer]
  • "Hey... Kill all sons-a-bitches, right?"

General

​Chapter Completed

No Casualties

• "Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah."
• "Oh, hell, yes!"
• "Shit, we are all right."
• "I know we can do better."
• "All right! This party is over!"
• "Yeah, all bark; no bite."
• "That was close."
• "Did we all make it? Yes, we did!"
• "We almost didn't make it!"
• "Live and in the flesh!"
• "Thanks to you guys, I am the baddest woman alive!"
• "Oh, I think we're going to make it!"
• "Oh, we kicked ass, yes, we did! Woo!"
• "Woo! We're really doing this!"
• "Ooh, we are doing it, all right!"
• "Ha-ha-ha! We are kickin' it!"
• "Woo, that's about as close as I like to cut it."
• "We made it uh huh, uh huh, we made it oh yeah."

With Casualties

• "What happened to us?"
• "Okay, we can do this! We can do this!"

Waiting For Others Inside the Safe Room

• "What in the hell are you doing out there? Get inside!"
• "Everyone, in here!"

Looking At Survivor

Nick

• "Hey, suit!"
• "Nicolas!"
• "Yo, Nick!"
• "Nick!"
• "Suit!"
• "Hey, fancy man."
• "Hey, sharp dresser."

Ellis

• "Yo, Ellis."
• "Hey, hee-haw!"
• "Young'un."
• "Hey, little guy!"
• "Yo, young'un!"
• "Yo, dude!"

Coach

• "Big guy."
• "Coach."

After a Period of Idling

• "Uh, can we get going?"
• "Time to get going."
• "C'mon, let's go!"

Commands

These are derived from the PC commands when using the Z, X, or C keys.

Yes

• "Oh, hell, yeah!"
• "Yes."
• "Why, yes."
• "Sure."

No

• "A-heh. No way."
• "Seriously. No."
• "Boy, no way!"
• "Heh. Oh, please."
• "NO!"
• "Oh, no, no, no, no, noooooo."

Look

• "Check this shit out."
• "Look."
• "Look at this."
• "Look here!"
• "Watch out."
• "Over there!"

Argh

• "Blarg!"
• "Sweet Lincoln's mullet!"
• "Sweet Jesus!"
• "Argh!"
• "Mother of mercy!"

Taunt

• "Ohhh, shut up!"
• "Oh, hell, yes!"
• "What's up with that?"
• "Forget about it."
• "Ha. Who's barking now?"
• "Yeah, right."
• "Yeah, that's right."

Follow Me

• "Hey, c'mon, this way!"
• "Follow me this way."
• "Follow me."

Lead the Way

• "Sure. You lead."
• "I am right behind ya."
• "Sure, lead on."
• "Go on, I'll keep up."
• "'Kay, go ahead."
• "All right, I'll follow you."
• All right I'm with ya.

Ready

• "I'm here, I'm with ya."
• "I got your back."
• "Boy, I got your back."

Thank you

• "Hey. Thanks"
• To Ellis: "Hoo, thanks, Ellis; I guess I will keep you."
• "Thanks. I owe you one."
• "Oh, thanks for that."

Negative responses

• "Can just one goddamn thing go right?!"
• "Ohhh, this is bad."
• "Oh, well... this just sucks."
• "We are in some deep shit."
• "Could this get any worse? I don't think so."
• "Arg. Jesus Christ!"
• "Goddamn it! Can just one more goddamn thing go wrong?"
• "We don't have time for this shit!"
• "This is some grave shit we got ourselves into."

Good Job

• "Woo! Kick-ass!"
• "You are on fire today!"
• "Hey, nice job!"
• "Oh, hell, yeah!"
• "Nice shot!"
• "That was cool!"
• "Cool!"
• "Good one!"

Hurry

• Come on, get the lead out!"
• "Would you hurry up?"

Health related

Reviving Another Survivor

• "Oh, baby, we can't have you down there. Now get up."
• "You're gonna have to suck it up. We need you a little bit longer."
• "Oh, shit, just... Get up, get up!"
• "You're comin' or you're just gonna lay there all day... Let's get ya up."
• "Can't stay down there forever... Let me get ya up."
• "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to kill yourself. Get up, now."
• "Ohhh, man. I mean... uh... I mean... you look fine? Let's go."
• "You've got to stop ending up down here... this is no way to stay alive."
• "Hell if I'm carrying you, get up! "
• "Look, the big man upstairs isn't ready to take you yet... let's get you on your feet."
• "No time for this now... we have to keep you moving, let's get you up."
• "Don't worry; you'll be fine... let's get you back on your feet."
• "Come on, now! We don't have time for all this layin' around."
• "Aah, I knew you'd be okay."
• "You had me worried there... We can't lose you."
• "The picture of health, good as new."
• "Come on, come on, get your ass up."
• "What in the hell have you gone and done now? Let's get going."
• [Reviving Coach]
  • "I've got a plan: Let's kill all the zombies, sound good?"
  • Coach: "Sounds like a plan."
• [Reviving Nick]
  • "So what's wrong with you?
  • Nick: "Nothing much."
  • Rochelle: "I knew you'd be okay."

Reviving Another Survivor On Last Down

• "You scared the shit outta me. I thought that was it for you... but if you go down again, you're meat."
• "I'm no nurse, but you look pretty messed up... go down again and that's it..."
• "You're scaring the shit out of me. You go down again and that's it for you..."
• "I'm going to get you on your feet, but if we don't get you fixed up, you are not going to make it."
• "Do you know what that is? I think it used to be inside of you... Go down again and it won't matter..."

Hanging From Ledge

• "While I am the best-looking girl hanging on a ledge, I wish I wasn't!... Hanging on a ledge I mean..."
• "Don't even think about leaving me here!"
• "Can someone help me? Damsel in distress over here!"
• "OH! For the love of God, someone needs to help me up!"
• "Hey... I, uh... kind of slipped!"

Helping Survivor Off Ledge

• "Yeah, you look like a fool hanging down there... Let me help you up."
• "Come on, boy, I'm not going to let you fall!"
• "Don't worry; I'm not going to leave you hanging."
• "Hang on, baby, I'm not going to let you fall."
• "Did this seem like a good idea to you at some time?"

Incapacitated

• "Damn! I'm down!"
• "Boys, I'm down!"
• "Gentlemen, I need some help!"
• "For the love of God, someone help me!"
• "Help me!"
• "Oh, I need some help!"
• "Hey, guys... I need some help!"

Revived

• "Thanks, I owe you one."
• *relieved sigh* "Okay, thanks."
• "That was close."
• "Oh. Thanks for that."
• [Dazed and sarcastic]
  • "I'm great... no, this is good... I'm great."
• [After being helped up by Nick]
  • "Wow, Nick. I guess you do have a heart... A heart of gold!"

Healing Self

• "Cover me! I'm gonna heal up."
• "Cover me, please."
• "Cover me while I patch myself up."
• "Do one of you fine gentlemen mind covering me while I heal?"
• "With my luck, I'm just going to make it worse."
• "Stop guys, I have to heal."

Healed

• "Whoo! All better now."
• "Now I'm feeling right!"
• "Now, that's what I'm talkin' about."

Healing Survivor

• "Quit fussing and let me heal you..."
• "Stop moving so I can heal you."
• "Shit... you gotta quit moving so I can heal you."
• "Stand still... Or I am going to mess this up."

Low Health

• "Girl, you shoulda stayed at home..."
• "Girl, you should've stayed with Jacob!"
• "Knights of Columbus, this hurts!"
• "Son of a bee... sting. This hurts."
• "Did this ever seem like a good idea?"
• "Tonight's top story: Rochelle is not going to make it..."

Black and White

• "In case anyone was wondering... I'm about to die."
• "This is how it's going to be, huh?"
• "I think I really hurt something."
• "By the beard of Zeus, this hurts!"
• "This isn't happening... this isn't happening... this isn't happening."
• "You have got to be kidding me..."
• "Something's gotta break our way..."
• "Okay, this was a bad idea."
• "Son of a bee sting; this hurts!"
• "Okay, that one really hurt."
• "Does anyone else feel like crap right now?" (Verge of crying)
• "This just in: Rochelle isn't going to make it..."
• "I am too young to feel this old."
• "This is some grim shit we got ourselves into..."
• "Tonight's Top Story: Rochelle is not going to make it"
• [Voice breaking]
  • "I need to find some health!"
• "One of you fellas one to carry the cute girl?"
• "I am too young, too beautiful to die!"

Saved by Defibrillator

• "Whoa. So that's what being dead feels like..."
• "Whoa... I do believe I owe you one."
• "OW!! That friggin' hurts!"

Pills

Seeing

• "Pills!"
• "Pills here!"

Taking

• "I got some pills."
• "We're going to need these."
• "I got these pills."
• "Pills for me."

Using

• "Now I'm feeling right!"

First Aid

Seeing

• "First aid here."
• "First Aid!"
• "First aid kit!"
• "There's a first aid kit here!"
• "First aid kit here!"

Taking

• "Nothing to see... No health kit here..."
• "Health here!"

Defibrillator

Seeing

• "Chest paddles here."
• "Got a defib unit."
• "Defibrillator here."

Taking

• "Got some chest paddles."

Using

• "C'mon, dammit, work!"

Adrenaline Shot

Seeing

• "Adrenaline shot here."

Taking

• "Grabbing a shot."

Another Survivor is Killed

Nick

• "I'll miss you, Nick. You were good to me."
• "Ahh, Nick... Well, at least you were dressed for the funeral."
• "Goodbye, Nick, I'm going to miss you..."

Ellis

• "Aw, Ellis, I'm going to miss you..."
• "Oh, Ellis, what did you go and do?"

Coach

• "Do you think Coach was his first or last name?"
• "Gonna miss you, Coach..."

If Two Survivors are Killed

• "Shit, I guess you are the last man on Earth."

Trapped in a Rescue Closet

• "Somebody? Anybody? Everybody! Help..."
• "I need to get out of here!"
• "Hey guys! Don't leave me behind!"

Weapon Related

Axe

• "Axe me a question, I dare you."
• "Axe!"

Cricket Bat

• "Gonna whack somethin' with this."
• "Cricket bat here."

Katana

• "Grabbing a katana."
• "Katana here."

Baseball Bat

• "Oh, I know what to do with this!"

Guitar

• "Grabbing a guitar."
• "Guitar here."

Frying Pan

• "Okay, nobody better make a crack about me being in the kitchen!"
• "Frying pan!"
• "This will work."

Crowbar

• "Crowbar."

Nightstick

• "Nightstick here."
• "Grabbing a nightstick."

Machete

• "Got a machete."
• "Machete here."

Golf Club

• "Grabbing a driver!"

Chainsaw

Seeing/Taking

• "Hell, yeah."
• "Chainsaw here."

Rampaging

• "DIE!"
• (Growls)

Submachine Gun

• "... A machine gun!"

Shotgun

• "Going with the shotgun..."
• "Shotgun for me."

Hunting Rifle/Sniper Rifle

• "I'm gonna check out this scope."
• "I'll snipe."

AK-47/Assault Rifle/Combat Rifle

• "I'll try this rifle."
• "Rifle for me!"
• "Taking the rifle."

Grenade Launcher

• "Grenade launcher here!"

Pistol(s)

• "Double pistols."

Magnum

• "I am in love with this gun!"
• "Dibs on the Magnum!"
• "Woo. I love this gun!"
• "Ooh. This is my new favorite!"
• "Yeah, you are going to kill some zombies with me!"
• "Oh, my God."
• "This can kill some zombies!"
• "Magnum here!"

Boomer Bile

Spotting

• "Bottle of... puke, apparently."

Taking

• "That had better not be what I think it is..."
• "Grabbing a jar of puke."
• "Grabbing a bile jar."
• "Grabbing a jar of puke, apparently."

Throwing

• "Heads up, bile incoming!"

Molotov

Spotting

N/A

Taking

• "Momma told me not to play with fire... but..."
• "Fire time."
• "I'm grabbin' a molotov."

Throwing

• "Molotov out!"
• "Fire coming!"
• "Burn, mother--!"
• "Molotov coming!"
• "Throwing a molotov!"

Pipe Bomb

Spotting

• "There's a pipe bomb here."
• "Pipe bomb here."
• "Pipe bomb."

Taking

• "Grabbing a pipe bomb."
• "Pipe bomb!"

Throwing

• "Pipe bomb out!"

Incendiary Ammo

Spotting

• "Incendiary ammo here!"

Taking

• "Let's get a little bonfire going."
• "Grabbin' incendiary ammo!"

Deploying

• "Deploying incendiary ammo!"
• "Everyone grab some incendiary ammo!"

Equipping

• "Fire time."
• "I'm not playin' now."

Explosive Ammo

Spotting

• "Frag rounds here."
• "Explosive rounds here!"

Taking

• "Grabbin' some frag rounds."

Deploying

• "Deploying explosive rounds!"

Equipping

• "Cool."

Ammo Cache

• "Ammo here."

Reloading

• "Reloading here!"
• "Reloading!"

Seeing Weapon Cache

• "All right! Weapons!"
• "We have guns here!"
• "Weapons over here!"

Infected Related

Panic Event

• "Oh, it's on now!"
• "Get ready."
• "They're coming..."
• "Here they come!"
• "Party time!"
• "Time to kick some ass."

Killing Special Infected

• "That one's mine."
• "Got it!"
• "Dead."
• "Taken care of."
• "Kicked its ass!"
• "Kicked it!"

Boomer

Spotting

• "Barf bag!"
• "Boomer!"
• "Oh, shit, there's a fat guy!"
• "Big guy!"
• "Fat guy!"

Vomited on

• "He just... Vomit."
• "Damn it! I just washed this!"
• "Oh, God, eugh!"
• "Ahh, Jesus! Ew! Ugh!"
• "Oh, ugh! Oh, not again!"

Charger

Hearing

• "Oh, what the hell is that?"

Spotting

• "Charger!"
• "One of those charging things!" (2 versions)

Being Pummeled

• "Charger's got me!"
• "This thing is crushin' me! "
• (Grunt) "I'm gettin' my ass... beat."
• "You've got to shoot this thing!"
• "It's killing me! Shoot it!"
• "I'm not playin' with this thing, help!"
• "Ugh, don't bash, shoot!"
• "Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot this thing!"

Hunter

Hearing

• "Ugh, I hear a Hunter."
• "A Hunter's around. Don't get pounced."
• "Hear that? I heard some of the infected mutated."
• "They DID say this infection could mutate..."
• "Oaohh, Hunter."

Spotting

• "Hoodie bastard!"
• "One of those pouncing things!"
• "HOODIE!"
• "HUNTER!"

Pounced on

• "Ah! Get this thing off me! Help!"
• "AH! GET IT..."

Survivor is Pounced

• "Get that thing off him!"

Jockey

Hearing

• "Oh, shit, I hear a Jockey."
• "Jockey around.."
• "I hear one of those little things.."
• "Uh oh, I hear a, what do you call it, a Jockey?"

Spotting

• "Jumper!"
• "JOCKEY!"

Being Ridden

• "Get this thing off my head!"
• "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
• "I can't breathe, get it off me!"
• "Oh, it's, it's on my face!"
• "I can't see, this thing is on me!"
• "Let go, let go, let go!"
• "Get this thing of me!"
• "AGH! LET GO! LET GO! LET GO!"

Another Survivor being Ridden

• "Holy shit, that thing's riding him!"
• "That thing's riding him!"

Smoker

Spotting

• "SMOKER!"

Grabbed

• "Smoker's got me!"
• "No, no-no-no-n--"
• "What just grabbed me?!"
• "Ah! Shit! What the hell is going on here?!"
• "NOOOOOOO!"

Choking

• "Help! Smoker has me..."

Spitter

Spotting

• "SPITTER!"
• "Crazy neck!"
• "Green guy!"

Spit Incoming

• "Watch out, goo!"
• "Sweet Jesus! This zombie spits burning shit!"
• "Heads up, goo!"
• "Goo incoming!"
• "GOO!"

Spit On

• "Ah! What is this shit?!"
• "Damn, this stuff hurts!"
• "Burning shit!"
• "Ow, move!"
• "Oh Jesus... this zombie spits burning shit!"
• "Don't step in this shit!"

Witch

Hearing

• "I'm gonna give that Witch something to cry about. Turn off your light, quiet, NOW."
• "Listen up, a Witch! Turn your flashlights off."
• "I hear a Witch crying. Kill your light!"

Spotting

• "WITCH!"

Witch is Being Disturbed

• "Who's pissing off the Witch?!?"
• "Um, guys, that Witch is getting mad."

Witch is Startled

• "Holy shit!"
• "Oh, shit!"
• "Sweet Jesus!"
• "Aw, damn!"

Being Chased

• "My bad, my bad, my bad!" (Two versions)
• "Outta my way!" (Two versions)
• "Kill the damn thing!" (Two versions)
• "Shoot her! Shoot her!"
• "Oh, shit, she's on my ass!"
• "My bad!"

Tank

• "Kill it, kill it!"
• "Don't stop shooting!"
• "Okay, shoot the shit out of that thing!"
• "Light it up!"
• "Shoot it! Shoot it!"
• "Holy shit, what's that?!"
• "Oh, god damn, that thing's big!"
• "Aw, shit! Tank!"
• [Only said during The Passing while in the port]
  • "Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy Shit! HOLY SHIT!"

Attacked while Incapacitated

• "Kill him! KILL HIM!"
• "Can't you see he's crushing me?!"
• "Get him off of me! UGH, GET HIM OFF OF ME!"
• "Oh, Jesus! Sweet Jesus, get this thing off of me!"
• "Kill him! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! OH, GOD! KILL HIM!"

Uncommon Infected

Hazmat Infected

• "Great. Infected in hazmat suits." (Despite this, she actually says "Great. Zombies in hazmat suits.")
• "Fireproof zombies. Hooray!"

Jimmy Gibbs Jr.

• "Dibbs on Gibbs!"

Clown Infected

• "Kill the clown!"

Mudmen

• "Holy shit, there really are mud people!"
• "Shoot the mudmen!"
• "Mud people!"

Riot Infected

• "Spin them around and shoot them in the back!"

Level Specific

	"It slimed me! God damn it! I'm covered in goo!" This article/section requires a clean up, you can help by removing unnecessary information, fixing up grammar/punctuation, and following the Manual of Style. If necessary take a look on the talk page to know what needs to be cleaned up.
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Dead Center

• [While in the elevator and another Survivor is dead]
  • "Did we all make it? Who did we lose back there? I think his name was Ellis/Nick/Coach."
• [At the Campaign start]
  • "I think those things are down there... Grab a weapon."
• [In disbelief]
  • "Okay. Now I'm killing zombies..."
• "The media mentioned things worse than zombies..."
• [Nervous]
  • "We should grab some weapons. I work in the news and the news says we should definitely grab some weapons."
• "I've been hearing about things... you know what? Never mind... but just... grab a weapon."
• [Studying the map]
  • "Reports were really fragmented... CEDA never told anyone it was this bad."
• "I think CEDA should have been telling us to do more than just wash our hands."
• "It looks like Atlanta's already fallen."
• "Look at this map... Guys, we need to get to New Orleans. Fast."
• [When hearing Hunter's growling for the first time]
  • "Reports says that there's something that is worse than zombies"
• [Entering Whitaker's Gun Shop]
  • "Oh, sweet Jesus, look at all these guns!"
• "Would you look at all these guns?!"
• [Talking to Whitaker before entering The Mall]
  • "Don't worry, mister, we'll get you that cola!"
• [After finishing the gun store panic event]
  • [Whispering] "Oh, shit, I think I grabbed diet cola. We should get outta here. [Yelling to Whitaker] Hey, thanks, mister!"
• [Seeing Jimmy Gibbs Jr. Poster]
  • "Anybody know who the racecar guy is?"
  • Ellis: "Only the greatest stock car racer of all time. Try readin' a book sometime."
  • Rochelle: "Jimmy Gibbs Jr... yay."
• [On Ellis' escape plan]
  • "Okay. So plan A is find this car... Plan B is we stay in this mall and die."
• "Well... it's a plan. I don't know if it's a good plan, but it's a plan..."

The Passing

The Riverbank

• [Encountering Zoey in the Intro]
  • Zoey: "Hello down there!"
  • Rochelle: "Oh, thank God! I thought I might be the last woman on Earth."
  • Zoey: "Yeah... I know that feeling."
• Nick: "I'm telling you the last goddamn time: Lower the goddamn bridge so we can get our goddamn car across, you greasy vest-wearing monkey."
  • Francis: "Ahhh go to Hell, suit."
  • Rochelle: "Hey, boys! Okay, if we get to the other side, can you help us lower it?"
  • Francis: "Hell yeah, I'll help you."
  • Rochelle: "See, Nick? You should try being nice sometime. Thank you!"
• [To Francis in the Intro]
  • Rochelle: "Hey there, can you lower the bridge?"
  • Francis: "If I could, I would. Can't. Get to the other side and we can lower it together."
  • Rochelle: "Is the road even clear to the other side?"
  • Francis: "Yeah."
  • Rochelle: "Then it's a date!"
  • Francis: "Hell yeah!"
• [To Francis in the Intro]
  • "Lower the bridge and I'll tell you how old I am!"
• [To Francis in the Intro]
  • "If you help us lower the bridge, I'll give you a kiss."
• "Coach, you know anything about this under-the-river tour?"
  • Coach: "I don't know. Goes under the river."
    [Alternate Line] "Uhh... yeah, it's historic."
  • Rochelle: "Well, okay... Good enough."
• [Reacting to the Bride Witch]
  • "You see? This is why I hate weddings."
  • "This is one wedding where I don't mind being the bridesmaid."
  • "Something old, something new, something about to rip your guts out..."
  • "I don't know what she's crying about, but at least she got married..."
  • "Well, this ain't the worst wedding I've been to..."

The Underground

• [In Safe Room]
  • Coach: "All this runnin' around we been doing? Shit, I bet I lost, what, five pounds."
  • Rochelle: "Anyone who survives this shit is going to be in great shape!"
    "You look good Coach!"
• "Ellis, honey... I've been thinking. Somewhere down the road, do you mind if we trade up for a car with... say, working doors and a backseat?"
• [Checking out Jukebox]
  • "Ugh. This jukebox sucks."
• Rochelle: "Do you really think we can trust that guy?"
  • Nick: "What's the matter, sweetie, playing hard to get?"
  • Rochelle: "What?"
  • Nick: "I saw the way you were looking at him."
  • Rochelle: "You're outta your mind!"
  • Nick: "He could be the one."
  • Rochelle: "Then again, he is better looking than you."
• Coach: "The city of Rayford: Used to have a boiled peanut festival here. Bunch of good memories."
  • Rochelle: "I have good memories, too... of having never been to a boiled peanut festival."
• "Get into the pool hall."
• Rochelle: "Motivated. Okay, we've got to get motivated. Hey, Ellis, I hear there's a stock car museum in New Orleans."
  • Ellis: "Get outta here! All right!"
  • Rochelle: "Coach, we make it to New Orleans, there's a cheeseburger museum!"
  • Coach: "Oh. In my heart, I'm there already."
  • Rochelle: "Hey, Nick there's a-"
  • Nick: "Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good."
• [Crossing the plank between buildings] "I am not looking down."
• "Hey, Nick. Splash fight?"
  • Nick: "Don't you dare."
• Ellis: "Nick, there's a turd on your shoulder."
• "Hey, Nick, this your suitcase?"
• "Why is it always water?"
• "Stay off the dirt. It's historical."
• "I hope Phase Two is as good as Phase One."
• "Maybe there's no zombies down there... Who am I kidding?"
• "Phase Two? Wait, Phase One was finished?"
• "Only in the South would this pass as a museum."
• "Five dollars well spent."
• "I never had so much fun learning."
• "That was almost as bad as the Seattle underground museum."
• "Phase Two is a lot more interesting than Phase One..."
• [In response to Ellis finding a 'candy bar']
  • "Oh, Ellis! I'm not laughing! I'm not, I'm not laughing."

The Port

• "Hey, Nick, you've got something on your shoulder."
• [Meeting Original Survivors at Finale]
  • Francis: "'Dee-Pec Mode'. Classy. Nice shirt, Rochelle."
  • Rochelle: "Thanks, Francis. Nice vest."
  • Zoey: "Francis? Really? Tell me you're joking."
  • Francis: "What? Obviously she's a woman of taste."
  • Rochelle: "Yeah. Thanks, but in the meantime, we should get to work on that generator..."
  • Zoey: "Uh, okay. You guys go down to the generator and get it working. I'm going to stay here and vomit."
• [In the Safe Room before meeting up with the Survivors]
  • Nick: "What are you nervous about? You had your chance, and you didn't do shit. Now, you can watch Nick take care of business."
  • Rochelle: "Nick, as one of the last two women in the world, I can say half of the women in the world hate you."

Dark Carnival

The Highway

• "Down this off-ramp."
• "You guys see those searchlights? I say we head there."
  • Ellis: "That'd be Whispering Oaks Amusement Park right there."
• "Highway's blocked! We can cut through this motel!"
• [Motel]
  • "Through this room."
  • "Down here."
• [Sliding down hill]
  • ​"Whoa."
• "We can get up here."

The Fairgrounds

• "Umm, guys, this is the ladies room."
  • Nick "Excuse me." / "Don't look at me like that."
• "I think I've had nightmares with this peanut."
• "Look at that, its eyes follow you."
• [Crescendo Event]
  • "Gate's open!"

The Coaster

• "This is the most relaxing safe room I have ever been in."
• [Moving through an air duct beside the Tunnel of Love]
  • "Ah, the air duct of love."
• [Helicopter flying overhead]
  • "A helicopter!"
• "Down this hole."
• "Over this fence."
• [At the control for The Screaming Oak roller coaster, starting the Crescendo Event]
  • "I'm starting it!"
• [While running on the coaster tracks]
  • "Follow the tracks, guys!"
• [After turning off alarm]
  • "Alarm's off!"

The Barns

• "The clown's attracting a horde!"
• [Seeing the barn]
  • "Through there!"
• "Through this door."
• [Hitting control to start crescendo event]
  • "Got it!"

The Concert

• [Figuring out Coach's plan involving the Midnight Riders]
  • "... And that will signal the chopper! Coach, that's brilliant! ... I'm sorry about all the bad things I said about your crappy band..."
• [Hearing Coach's plan]
  • "Ah! That's pretty smart, Coach!"
• "Hit the lights!"
• "Lights!"
• [Seeing the rescue chopper arrive at the finale]
  • "Coach, you are the smartest man alive!"
  • "Coach's crazy idea worked!"
• "Gee, my bedroom was painted like this... baby blue... I think maybe my dad wanted a boy..."

Swamp Fever

Plank Country

• [Continuing Coach's phrase at the start of Swamp Fever]
  • "When they say, 'Stay out,' I'm sure they meant someone else."
• [Agreeing with Nick's shooting of the pilot]
  • "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and... attacked us. Anyone know where we are?"
• "So, Nick, what do you think the chances are the swamp people are still alive?"
  • Nick: "What, alive and Infected, or alive and not zombies?"
  • Rochelle: "Not zombies."
  • Nick: "100 to 1."
  • Rochelle: "Sounds about right."
• [Responding to Ellis about the blood farmers]
  • "Blood farmers? Boy, what in the hell are you talking about?"
• "Okay, stay on the walkway."
  • Coach: "Girl's got the right idea."
• "We should search the houses for supplies."
• [Reading the 'No Swimming' sign at the ferry]
  • "You're telling me they actually had to post a sign to keep people from swimming in the gator pool? All right..."
  • "No swimming in the Gator Park. Good to know!"
  • "No swimming in the Gator Park. Fair enough."
• [Reaching the ferry]
  • "It looks like they've all left... and gone deeper into the swamp. Well, great."
• [Reaching the ferry]
  • "It looks like they've all headed to the village... deeper into the swamp. Great."
• "Earl's Gator Village? This just keeps getting better..."
• [At the dock]
  • ​"Activate the ferry."
  • "Ferry's coming."
• [When ferry arrives]
  • "Everyone, on the ferry!"
  • "Okay, get on the ferry!"
  • "Time to ride the ferry!"
• [On the ferry]
  • "Ellis, does that tattoo mean anything?"
  • Ellis: "Oh, this here? It means I'm a badass zombie-killin' machine."
  • Rochelle: "Wow. You must have amazing foresight to get that."
• [At the junction in the walkway]
  • "Should we go right or left?"
• [Reaching the Drainage Pipe Safe Room]
  • "That's an encouraging sign. There's still power!"
  • "I can see a light!"

The Swamp

• [Inside the safe rouse]
  • "Does anyone have any bug spray?"
  • Ellis: "Ooh--you could try covering yourself in mud."
• [Stepping into the swamp]
  • "Okay, this is creepy."
  • "I guess this is where the drain pipe drained..."
• [Wandering in the swamp]
  • "I am sick to death of this mud."
  • "Good thing I'm wearing boots..."
  • "Okay. Enough of the mud, already!"
  • "My feet are never going to dry..."
• [Observing the Plane Wreckage]
  • "Zombies hit mid-flight I guess..."
  • "Holy shit... A downed plane!"
• [At the emergency door of the fallen plane at the Crash Site]
  • "You're kidding me. The only way forward is through an emergency door?"
  • "Okay, get ready, once we open this door, the alarm will sound!"
  • "Only way is through the door."
• [Opening the Airplane Hatch]
  • "I've always wanted to do this."
  • "Okay, I'm opening the door!"
• "Hey, the village is this way!"
• [Yelling]
  • "Hello?!"
• "Maybe people are here!"
• "Oh, shit, they didn't make it..."
• [Nearing the safe rouse]
  • "Hello, hello, swamp people are you there?"
  • "God damn it, the swamp people are zombies. Oh, zombie swamp people, I'm sorry... I gotta shoot you."
  • "Oh, shit, they didn't make it..."

The Shantytown

• [Searching the Shantytown for supplies]
  • "We should look around and see if they left supplies."
  • "If anybody could survive this... it would be people who live like this..."
• "We aren't going to find anyone here."
• "Hey, Ellis. A bathtub... heard of one before?"
• [Observing the pile of dead animal carcasses]
  • "We had heard reports that the infection might spread through mammals, but..."
  • Ellis: "So they just killed them all?"
  • Rochelle: "Better safe than sorry, I guess."..
• "See the stairs?"
• "Through this house!"
• [At the bridge]
  • "Okay, we need to lower this bridge."
  • "Okay, bridge coming down!"
• [At End of Shantytown]
  • "There's the grounds!"

The Plantation

• "Let's head down this road."
• "There's the plantation house!"
• [At the plantation house]
  • "Go up the scaffolding."
• "Let's try the radio."
• [Activates radio]
  • "Can anyone hear me?
• [Responding to Virgil]
  • "We're at the plantation house."
• [At end, running towards the boat]
  • "LET'S GET TO THE BOAT!"

Hard Rain

The Milltown

• "This should be easy; we just need to grab some diesel."
• [Reading the sign about gas shortages]
  • "'Next gas two miles.' Well, shit."
• [As the rain begins]
  • "Um, does it flood around here?"
• "We're gonna be coming back through here, so keep an eye out for the landmarks.
• [Upon sighting the playground]
  • "Through that playground!"
• [At the house with a garage sale]
  • "We can cut through this garage sale!"
• [Near safe room]
  • "There's a safe room up there!

The Sugar Mill

• "Oh, it's really coming down hard."
• "Rain's really coming down."
• [Noticing another Witch crying]
  • "How many goddamn witches are there?"
• "Up that ramp!"
• [While in the Sugar Mill]
  • "Hey, we can take that elevator down to the field."
• [At stairs]
  • "We can get up here!"
• [At elevator]
  • "Hey! There's the gas station!"
• [Pressing elevator button]
  • "I hit it!"
• "KEEP MOVING! JUST HEAD FOR THE SIGN!"

Mill Escape

• "Back through the field."
• "We can take the elevator back up!"
• "Back down the stairs!"
• "Up this pipe!"
• "Cross here."
• [After it starts raining harder]
  • "I can't see a damn thing."

Return to Town

• [On leaving the gas station]
  • "Does everybody have enough gas? 'Cause I do not want to make this trip twice."
• [Exiting safe room]
  • "This flooded fast."
• "There's the porch light we passed on the way in."
• [Spotting the playground]
  • "The playground! We're almost outta here!"

Town Escape

• [ Responding to Ellis' suggestion about the Burger Tank sign]
  • "Yeah, that might work."
• Nick: "HERE COMES THE RAIN!"
  • Rochelle: "STAY CLOSE!"
• [Switching on the sign]
  • "Sign is on!"
• "Get ready!"

The Parish

The Waterfront

Waiting for info

The Park

• [At the sign outside the bathroom]
  • ​Coach: "'Report the sick.'"
  • Ellis: "Report the sick?"
  • Rochelle: "Don't worry, Ellis, they mean the flu, not in the head."
• [When passing The Park bathrooms]
  • "Ugh. Whats that smell?"
  • Ellis: "Smells nice, don't it?"
  • Coach: "Smells like people been living here and shit."
• [When seeing the "Where is CEDA?" graffiti in The Park]
  • "Good question. Where is CEDA? I just see zombies... "
  • "Looks like they were routing people through here."

The Cemetery

• [At Impound Lot]
  • "Careful, alarm cars everywhere."
  • "Everyone, just watch where you shoot."
• "Up this ladder!"
• "There's the freeway!"
• [On being bombed by the military]
  • "What are they doing!?"

The Quarter

• "Something tells me they're not checking for survivors anymore..."
• [When a bomb goes off nearby]
  • "Holy shit!"
• [At the parade float]
  • "I'm starting it!"
• [Seeing Veterans Memorial Bridge]
  • "There's the bridge!"
  • "There's the bridge... you're sure they're going to be there?"

The Bridge

• [Activating comm]
  • "Hello?
• [Responding to soldier]
  • "This is someone who could use some help."
  • Soldier: "Are you immune?"
  • Rochelle: "We are not infected."
  • Soldier: "Negative bridge. Are you immune? Have you encountered the infected?
  • Rochelle: "Yes, yes, yes, we are immune."
• "We're on our way. Thank you."
• [After bridge lowers]
  • "Let's move."

Friendly Fire

• "Check yourself before you wreck yourself, fool!"
• "That better have been an accident!"
• "Don't make me get ugly with you!"
• "I hope that was an accident!"
• "Sweet Jesus, you shot me!"
• "STOP IT!"
• "Stop shooting me!"
• "Somebody shot me..."
• "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... Seriously?"
• "Hey, what's your name? Don't shoot me!"
• "You got some serious issues with that gun."
• "Have you lost your mind?"
• "Okay. I cannot believe you just shot me."
• "Ow. HEY!"
• "Try shooting some damn zombies."
• "Do. Not. Shoot me."
• "What is up with you shooting me?!"
• "Watch where you're shooting!"
• "What the hell are you doing?!"
• "Who the hell shot me?"
• "Oh, no, you didn't just shoot me!"
• "Hey!"
• "Watch it!"
• "Did you shoot me?!"

Scavenge

• [At the beginning of Scavenge Mode]
  • "Find some gas, guys!"

Community

• "Damn, it is cold!"
• "It's cold as Cleveland in December."
• "I could use a jacket right now."
• "Train station!"
• "All aboard! Toot-toot!"
• "That's a basic training camp."
• "Popcorn! I love popcorn! You, Coach?"
• "Nick! This looks familiar?"

Badwater Basin

• "Push the cart!"
• "Would you push the cart?"

Discreaper Redux

• "This is gonna be a hell of a night!"
• "Damn, it's windy."

Haunted Forest, by Dr. Boo

• "Great! Like zombies aren't bad enough, we have ghosts!"

Unused

These can be found among the Steam files but either can't be found or don't play in game.

• (world04) "We're here, Crescent City. I'll tell you now, I'm not showing anyone my tits."
• "Guys, guys! Now is not the time for a pissing contest! The building is on fire; let's get off this roof while we still can."